A Good Chat with an "Apple Expert"

You are chatting with Joyce A, an Apple Expert

Hi, my name is Joyce A. Welcome to Apple! Good afternoon.

How may I help you today?

Hi. I just purchased a Macbook Pro yesteday, and now I am trying to install Final Cut Pro Studio--the academic version--which I purchased for an older computer years ago. The installer is telling me that I do not have the necessary hardware requirements for the install. It is the 2.8 ghz processor, 500gb hard drive, and 512mb video card model

I am sorry you are having an issue.

Although I am here to assist online shoppers with their apple.com product questions, I am happy to assist you by guiding you to the answers you need. May I send you a link to our awesome support page? If you do not find the answer there you can contact AppleCare, our technical support team at 800-275-2273. AppleCare is open 9am to 9pm est. seven days a week. (Except holidays)

click here if you would like support pages

DAMN YOU ROBOTS!

I am not a robot and do not appreciate your language!

Fair enough, cyborg.

But your tricks will not work on me.

This chat service is here to help with the Apple Online Store. Please use this chat service appropriately or I will be required to terminate the chat immediately.

Hm. No cyborg would ever type so slow. Perhaps you are human after all.

Would you like some assistance with your shopping?

Or perhaps this is just another trick from a brilliant A.I.

Negative.

I demand proof of your fleshiness.

This is a final warning to stop this type of response. If we are not able to keep this on a professional level, I am required to terminate the chat.

Terminate. A word familiar to you machines.

I've repeatedly asked you to stop this behavior. I am terminating this chat due to the nature of this conversation. If you would like to work with us in the future, please contact us at 1(800) MY-APPLE. Goodbye.

Hello.

Whatsup, Internet? This is my blog.

I read and follow--I don't mean with Twitter or anything--I read and follow lots of different blogs and news feeds every few days. Two are the blogs of clothing brands, so that I know whenever sample sales happen in LA, to buy nice clothes for super cheap; one is operated by a Futurist collective, which discusses how humans will live and function once we make the move to space, and theorizes new means to that end; one is a feed of fighting-game related news (although I check it less, since I think that Street Fighter 4 sucks now); one is the blog of one of my favorite bands, and another is made up of random, silly posts by all the friends I have who are in bands; one is a stream of photos of well-dressed people in cities like New York, Milan, and Paris--because I like to imagine I'll also dress super badass when I am an old dude (http://tinyurl.com/kjsxwk); a few list different shows and events happening in Los Angeles; one is my favorite illustrator and designer's blog (see below) and one is my favorite painter's blog; three are art blogs that link me to other art blogs.

I read all these individual blogs, I think, because each provides me a service that I want. I figure out how to buy cool threads at their cheapest; I keep track of friends, bands, and artists; I hear about concerts, art shows, bicycle mobs, and open parties happening near me; I keep myself entertained with totally pointless intellectual, philosophical crap, or scientific crap, and stuff; and I know who won the last totally gnarly Blazblue tournament in Japan (I'll devote a post to fighting games sometime in the future). The blogs I check keep me entertained, show me some intensely creative work, and, sometimes, get me to leave my place and do something IRL!! It's amazing. Truly amazing.

So, what will I get out of writing this blog? I do not know. But I will write it because I think it will be a good, fun thing to do, and it will get me to think constructively and creatively about whatever I have rolling through my head, which is more fun than just observing how scatter-brained I can be. I think I'll focus on mini-personal-essay type of posts, instead of just describing what I did during my day--but maybe I'll do that too. I look at this as a means of organizing myself. I've kept a journal before, to keep me from musing too much on whatever is going on in my life, but keeping a journal in a public environment will force me to write more constructive things, and work with some cooler ideas.

What will you get out of reading this blog? Will it help change your life indefinitely, as all the blogs I read have certainly done for me? Maybe. If you actually exist, dear reader, I'll let you figure that out.

Stay tuned: my next post will probably be about something very exciting.

-Taylor

Blogs alluded to:

http://www.thehundreds.com/wordpress/

http://www.grnappletree.blogspot.com/

http://www.spacecollective.org/

http://www.eventhubs.com/

http://joggzblog.blogspot.com/

http://cakepolice.blogspot.com/

http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/

http://www.losanjealous.com/

http://birdbrid.blogspot.com/

http://joesorren.com/wordpress/

http://www.todayandtomorrow.net/

http://www.designiskinky.org/

http://www.ffffound.com/